January 20th, 1993.
Close your eyes, darling. Take a deep breath. It will only hurt for a second. I know you can’t wait for this to be over. I know you can’t stand any more pain, when there’s nothing you can do to save yourself. I know they’ve done all they can, but nothing works anymore. I know the end is close. I don’t want to see you suffer either, but think about what will happen next.
When this is over, we have to live without your charm, without your grace, without your elegance, without your love. You will leave generations wishing they could have been in the same world as you. Girls everywhere will dress in your honor. Boys everywhere will wish they could be your husbands or sons. Everybody will want to be like you.
But, for you, this suffering will end. You will go to a place where there is no war. You will go to a place where there are no guns, there is no holocaust, and there is no faceless voice that in a single shout condemns millions to their doom. In that place, your soul will be free. In that place, there will be lots of chocolate for you to eat, and lots of coal making lots of heat. In that place, there is to be no more hunger, no more fear, no more darkness. Only light.
In that place, you will be able to dance, and it will take you to the moon. The weakness of your body will not stop you from anything anymore. You will be rocked to sleep by the children laughing, the children you couldn’t save, and you will be awaken by the kisses of your lovers, the ones who went before you.
In that place, you will see Cary, and his magic smile, waiting to take you into his strong arms. In that place, you will see Billy, no longer haunted by the ghosts of his past, and with a heart yearning to see you again. You will see Fred! Oh, dear Fred. How he missed dancing with you. You will see Rex and Bogie, whose heart your unspeakable sweetness has softened. You will see Gary and Capucine, those who left this earth even more unjustly soon than you. Send them a message. Tell them they won’t feel lonely without you for much longer. All the tears you’ll cry will be happy ones.
You will have to wait a few years until you can hug your sons again. You will have to wait a few years to be in Robbie’s arms again. But you will see them from this wonderful place. You will see them, and you will be there for them, always. How could it be different?
And you will see us. And how much we, who never knew you, love you still. And never forgot you. How could we?
Don’t worry, darling. Death is not like they say. Not to someone like you. We would never let you die. How could we?
Take a deep breath, darling. It will only hurt for one more second. And, then you’ll be free. A faint, beautiful memory. But, a memory still.